Act Out

So, I posted this photo to Instagram and asked the students to caption it for the musical program…

We got nice responses like this one from Buck Day, “Choir = Framily (friends who are like family),” or this one from Sayle Theirl, “You should join Choir because you will be surrounded by this amazing community that is basically a family. We also do lots of fun things including sing Christmas carols and go on a retreat! You will make lifelong friends by joining HHS Choir, and you’ll have a ton of fun!”

And then I look in my DM’s and what to my wondering eyes should I read? Ryan Kramer graced us with the history of “The HHS Choir Teacher, Mr. O.”

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So, you’re probably wondering where all of these talented singers came from? Well, I think it’s better we start from the beginning.

*disc scratching*

It all started back in St. Louis, Missouri, 1933. This might be a little too old for the younger folks to remember, but back in the day there was this thing called “The Great Depression”. It was a time when no one had any money because the stock market (you’ll learn when you’re older) was at its all-time low and no one had any money! But back to Missouri. There was this chicken farmer who lived just outside of the city named Ted Spindler (completely unrelated to *the* Todd Spindler) who just lost everything to a dust storm. You see, during this time there was a lot of dust in the air from all of the empty, tilled land. So much so that they would create giant storms of dust bigger than the biggest thing you can think of! It was one of these storms that left Ted with nothing, all except one chicken egg that managed to survive. From this egg hatched a little critter who Ted Spindler named “Paul Oestreich”, or Ostrich for short.

It’s a common misconception in the scientific community whether he was referred to as “Ostrich” or “Ace”, but the latter has no solid scientific evidence to support it. Ostrich, or O for short, was really bad at being a chicken. He wore ties and sweater vests and was weirdly good at playing the bassoon, but most importantly- he knew how to sing. Little O’s fame began to spread and soon no longer was he a baby chick – he had now evolved into a full, adult Ostrich.

In one form or another, his fame brought him to a patch of land somewhere in southeastern Wisconsin where he decided to start his own chicken farm. However, there was one big issue- Ostrich had no idea how to raise chickens! All of the eggs he managed to get hatched into weird, fleshy fetus creatures called “human beings”. This was something Ostrich was unfamiliar with- what were these writhing, little creatures? Then, as if from the heavens, his mentor and father figure ascended from the sky. “Ostrich,” Ted Spindler said to his progeny, “These creatures are like you- weird things that like to sing.” Ostrich started to get the message Ted was trying to tell him.

“Be weird, and they will let you lead them. Goodbye, my son.”

Ted Spindler ascended back to Nevada heaven (Las Vegas) and Ostrich knew what must be done. He created a Time Machine from a spark of inspiration watching the totally unrelated “Master of Disguise” and sent a message to who would become the very first choir director at Homestead High School, sparking the formation of the HHS Choir Program, and soon landed himself a job as the choir director what would be over 60 years later. He was able to attain this position after watching the totally related “Master of Disguise” to create the perfect human form to occupy on a daily basis. We wouldn’t want to be taught by a chicken, would we?

*disc scratch*

And there you have it, the Homestead Choir Program at your fingertips. Indeed, it is one of the greatest civil achievements in modern history, and surely to be remembered through the ages as a program of prestige and honor.

Only one question remains…

Are you brave enough to join? Yes, yes you are.