William Shakespeare’s 450th Birthday
Here are a few tips from the official website to teach you how to get your Bard on:
- Instead of you, say thou or thee (and instead of y’all, say ye).
- Rhymed couplets are all the rage.
- Men are Sirrah, ladies are Mistress, and your friends are all called Cousin.
- Instead of cursing, try calling your tormentors jackanapes or canker-blossoms or poisonous bunch-back’d toads.
- Don’t waste time saying “it,” just use the letter “t” (’tis, t’will, I’ll do’t).
- Verse for lovers, prose for ruffians, songs for clowns.
- When in doubt, add the letters “eth” to the end of verbs (he runneth, he trippeth, he falleth).
- To add weight to your opinions, try starting them with me thinks, mayhaps, in sooth or wherefore.
- When wooing ladies: try comparing her to a summer’s day. If that fails, say “Get thee to a nunnery!”
- When wooing lads: try dressing up like a man. If that fails, throw him in the tower, banish his friends and claim the throne.