You Know When You’ve Been on Stagecrew Too Much When…

Your weekend consists of Monday, and only Monday.

“Q” is not just a letter.

You feel lucky when you get a two-day weekend instead of a one-day weekend

You’re off when everyone else is working

You know more than one theory for the origin of the name “green room.”

You say “break a leg” to friends en route to job interviews or weddings rather than “good luck.”

You can only read from a light that is blue.

You cant remember what daylight looks like.

You feel naked without your keys attached to your belt loop, or your belt without your Maglite, Leatherman and Gerber.

95% of your wardrobe is black

You watch the Super Bowl waiting for intermission, not half-time

You tell more stories of what went wrong on shows you’ve done than what went smoothly

You start wondering what it feels like to be a prop

You know anything can be fixed with gaffe tape, gorrila glue, a sharpie, tie-line and a safety pin.

Your diet consists of fast food or microwave food.

Your Halloween costume in some way utilizes running blacks and gaffe tape.

Varying your diet means ordering the #2 instead of the #3 or eating with your left hand instead of your right

You insist on spelling “theatre” with an “re” not an “er.”

People recognize you by the sound of your keys jingling down the hallway.

Going to a restaurant means ordering and sitting down in McDonald’s rather than the drive through.

Instead of saying that you’re leaving, you say you’re exiting

At home, you “strike” the dishes in your kitchen

If someone asks you what time it is, you respond with something like, “Half hour ’til half hour.”

…and they said it wasn’t glamorous in theatre.

-Fade to Black

Submitted by Barbara Thomas

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