When something bad happens: True is it that we have seen better days.
When something REALLY bad happens: O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day That ever, ever I did yet behold! O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this.O woeful day! O woeful day!
When your girlfriend abandons me for food: FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN!
When someone doesn’t thank you for holding the door open for them: BLOW, BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND! THOU ART NOT SO UNKIND AS MAN’S INGRATITUDE!
When you burn something while cooking: MY CAKE IS DOUGH!
When human stupidity frustrates you: LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!
When you’re broke: My pride fell with my fortunes
When someone turns the light on after a period of darkness and blinding light ensues: OH, SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT!
When someone disagrees with you: THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THEN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
When you argue with your boy/girlfriend: The course of true love never did run smooth.
When you’re embarrassed: MUST I HOLD A CANDLE TO MY SHAMES?!
Someone says “Good Night”: Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.