A dramatic Shakespearean response to every situation

  1. When something bad happens: True is it that we have seen better days.
  2. When something REALLY bad happens: O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day That ever, ever I did yet behold! O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this.O woeful day! O woeful day!
  3. When your girlfriend abandons me for food: FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN!
  4. When someone doesn’t thank you for holding the door open for them: BLOW, BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND! THOU ART NOT SO UNKIND AS MAN’S INGRATITUDE!
  5. When you burn something while cooking: MY CAKE IS DOUGH!
  6. When human stupidity frustrates you: LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!
  7. When you’re broke: My pride fell with my fortunes
  8. When someone turns the light on after a period of darkness and blinding light ensues: OH, SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT!
  9. When someone disagrees with you: THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THEN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
  10. When you argue with your boy/girlfriend: The course of true love never did run smooth.
  11. When you’re embarrassed: MUST I HOLD A CANDLE TO MY SHAMES?!
  12. Someone says “Good Night”: Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.

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